God is good, He's the best

It's been a while eh?
Somebody has been visiting my blog quite frequently.
Whoever you are, I just wanna say sorry and thank you
Sorry cuz I've been neglecting my blog and thank you cuz eventhough I update nothing, you still come ere
YOU ROCK!

I wanna talk about God
I am not that religious but I can feel His love
I feel unworthy of it though

I disobeyed Him but He still cares, I forgot Him but He never once did
He still bestows me with blessings eventhough I took Him for granted

He's always there for me
When I'm happy, when I'm feeling suicidal
He didn't give up on me
He trusted me so He put me on a trial
But I failed so many times
I kinda lost faith in Him, I was in denial

I was lost..
In sin and desire
I was sure I'm destined to Hellfire

I lost all hope of Heavenly ending
I tried to pray but it felt like I was pretending
It didn't feel sincere but it's better than not trying

As I drown myself in despair
He showed me that He's fair
though life may not but He's there
He invited me to His lair

"God, help me"

He heard me and always going to hear me
Be it morning, night, even when the hour's ungodly
He'll listen to the deepest heart melancholy
"What did I do to deserve such love?" I ask myself daily
His love is so unconditional He loves His creations all equally

Forgive me, God
Forget me not

Honestly

I did it for the attention
I love it
Posting pics and telling stories
Yeah
All that for some attention
Cuz I thought I didn't get enough
I'm greedy liddat

When the pain finally brings pleasure, I kinda wish for more pain
Oh wait
I ain't that sick

P/s : Maybe I am

Saksi Bisu

Aku nampak, aku tahu
Segala yang berlaku
Aku pilih untuk diam
Tegakku dalam qiam
Hitam putih warna warni
Spektrum cahaya tujuh terbahagi
Indah segala yang kelihatan
Mata mencerlang keriangan
Walau segala dapat dirakam
Mulut terkatup terus bungkam
Dari aku berbicara
Baik aku amati sahaja
Kerna mulut badan binasa
Hilang pahala bertambah dosa

Biar busuk perut kau dengan simpanan yang buruk
Biar sampai bernanah
Biar dipijak, biar kewujudan kau terceruk
Diamkan jangan kau sebarkan fitnah

Jaga aibku
Dan Dia kan jaga aibmu.

Open thy doors

Once, there was a closed door
Closed so tight no one could ever enter
They tried pushing so hard they broke their shoulders
Still, the door shut tight
They kept trying
Everything
Used too much force they broke the door open
They're satisfied
But none entered
They just wanted to open the door
Little did they know, it's a 'pull' door

Cloudy with no chance.. No chance at all..

Dried eyes wet cheeks
Legs weaker than sticks
Heart broken to six
Pieces can't be fixed
I failed in life
Hurt and barely survive
Not dead nor feeling alive
I'm sadder than the rain
Tears in my vein
The pain
Again

Ain't anything deep

I wonder what life is
What is hardship, what is bliss
Why does the day starts with morning kiss

Why can't the night be with the sun
Why can't we not do shit but still get shit done
Why do we have to choose between a pen and a gun
Life ain't all fun

Do we have to breathe in the air
The air is poisonous but do we really care
Just breathe away cuz life ain't "Truth or Dare"
Life's a snare
And we're The Hungry Bear
We eat, we tear
We are what we wear
We go here go there
Life's a Project Runway
No way
We sleep at night and throughout the day
We open our eyes but what we see I dare not say
Life's grey
No color no ray

Life's a Giver
It gives you lemons from January to December
Forever giving, rests never
Life's heart is bigger
There's love, hate and probably anger
Don't anger the Mother Nature

Life's about staying alive
Working your ass off from 9 to 5
Making beeline to your beehive
You work hard you aim to strive
Life's a long drive

Life has its end
No matter how high you fly you mustn't forget how to land
You mustn't break how far can you bend
When you make mistakes you mustn't fail to amend

Life's a one-shot
Sequel nor prequel it has not
Give it all you got

Life's a book of yourself
Make it worthy to be on His bookshelf

It's Personal

This post is gon get real personal. Imma talk about real events, real feelings and I'll be mentioning real people with real name. If you've been reading my tweets, you'll know how many times I've told the world about how much my friends mean to me. My friends are my baes.

On second thought, I'm keeping their names secret. They're mine. Exclusively mine. And the memories too. Sharing is caring. If you who read this is my friend, we'll be sharing the same memory. So, I don't have to write it here. But if you're just a curious stranger, I just couldn't care less about you. Go find your own friends. And create your own memories with them. When you're happy with what you have, what I was going to but did not tell shouldn't bother you at all.

But lemme tell you this. One thing about friendship that I treasure the most is that it's unconditional. If your friends can't be your mirror, stop trying to make them your reflection.